It’s natural to resist change but are you noticing yourself in the process?

Things are always changing in our life. It is up to us to decide how we want to move through that change. It’s just natural to have resistance to change. What do I mean by change? I mean something shifting that is not within our control. And that can be hard to deal with. Why? Because it’s sort of like a perceived lack of control. When one minute we were able to call the shots or see our input translate to action in an area of our life, then another minute that’s all different.

And that is hard.

Maybe even scary?

But of course, things are always subject to change because things always shift. What is most important to come back to in times of change is not what is changing but rather how we are moving through the change.

Ask yourself: what do I need?

Sometimes doing nothing is the answer. Sometimes organizing around and with the change. Sometimes looking into options to help the transition and change period. No matter that path, notice yourself throughout the change.

 In experiences where I move through change, I notice that I go through a cycle of emotions. Kubler-Ross created a change curve outlining the individual’s typical experience moving through change, and the journey goes through shock and denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This is a perfect outline of how this emotional cycle I notice within myself can be graphed.

My typical cycle is generally something like annoyance about the disruption, anger about considering options to navigate the change, a desire to tell whoever has impacted me about their impact so that maybe they will not change. Then I move into a realization that there may be an opportunity in this change.

Does my cycle seem familiar?

It is almost on par with shock, anger, bargaining and acceptance!

As I started to pay attention to what was happening inside, I could see how it shaped the world around me. So I asked myself, how do I want to move through change, and what can I learn from this?

As I began to acknowledge what was happening internally, I naturally moved to acceptance more quickly and started to clearly see what I could learn about myself in the process.

In the new is possibility.

To like the change more.

To like the situation more.

To like the people more.

To like myself more.

Just considering possibility helps with the overall frustration, anger and annoyance. I think this is often the case. When we can open ourselves up to possibilities, it helps us become less stuck and rigid in ‘how things should be’. That mentality makes changes even harder. Inflexibility makes changes feel like they are being done to us rather than seeing them as something that happens. It’s being a victim of sorts versus being an active participant. What do I mean by being an active participant? Someone who sees life as always changing and accepts it rather than putting up blocks about it.

What possibilities exist for you?