Apathy Anyone?

Apathy is a state of indifference. It looks like “I don’t give a shit” and yet “everything is amazing” all at once, which creates a muted version of both, so neither really take hold. It looks muted—sort of grey and glossy; a little out of focus, a lack of connection to or anything.

It is minimal planning because, well ‘what’s the point?”. Apathy is an old teabag that has lost its pungent flavour; it could smell more interesting, but it doesn’t anymore.  And because I am apathetic, I don’t bother to buy new teabags that have the rich flavour of fresh spice.

Apathy is everywhere right now and growing. As Covid-19 continues to dictate the state of our world, enduring us on the path of small or no gatherings, days after days at home and routines that cut out much of what we love, apathy and other emotional states that may be difficult to deal with are growing.

We are wired as humans to connect with each other. To be in contact with others. We love hugs and embracing. And that has been stripped away during Covid. I am wired as a human to connect with people, make a difference in others’ lives, receive and give energy. This is something that has been difficult through the screens we have been tied to over the past year. The connection has begun to feel, taste and look very different.

As the length of time our lives have looked very different increases, so too does the way we connect and the feelings we grow as a result. The apathy is growing and leading to days of tasteless, smell-less indifference. As I realized this was growing, I asked myself how I want to be and what choices I could make to support myself.

Within my control are structure, process and system.

I decided to create some that support my larger goals, goals that supersede Covid-19 limitations and the apathy it has brought to our society. I realized I have the choice to continue to plant seeds that will grow roots over time, that will grow flowers and branches in the coming years. Apathy may cultivate indifference, but I have the choice to use that indifference to grow the garden I want to grow.

In the apathy of your life, what seeds are you planting and attending to?